* Did You Know * 3 Secrets About Men I Bet You Don't Know - 2 More * Which Program Is For You? * Tell A Friend * Removal/Change of Address Instructions
Did You Know:
The probability of a first marriage ending in a divorce within 5 years is 20%, but the probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49%. After 10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending in divorce is 33%, compared with 62% for those couples who cohabitate.
What those statistics tell me is that even though the divorce rate is around 50%, that doesn't mean every marriage has a 50-50 chance of ending in divorce. If you wait until after you're married to move in together, you'll automatically increase the likelihood that your marriage will last.
Featured Topic:3 Secrets About Men I Bet You Don't Know - 2 More
As a therapist, I've listened to a lot of men talk about their relationships. Here are 3 things (plus 2 more) I've heard that nearly every man wishes the woman they love understood.
1) When I'm upset I am very tone sensitive. How you say something is actually more important than what you say. Most women focus on the content of a conversation when they are upset. Not men. While men do pay attention to what you're saying, how you say it is more significant.
When you are in a disagreement you can yell, scream, use sarcastic quips, etc., but don't expect any positive results. He can't hear you when the tone and pitch of your voice is too intense.
He may deserve to be yelled at, and if so - go for it. Just remember, the greater the amount of emotion a man feels, the more sensitive he is to your tone.
2) I don't always know how I feel. That's why I don't tell you. Men have an ability that most women don't understand - we can shut off our feelings pretty easily. There are many times when guys aren't feeling anything. It takes a lot of effort for a man to "feel." If you want to know what a man is feeling, ask him this question, "What do you think about __________?"
You most likely will not get an emotional answer like you might receive from one of your girlfriends, but it's easier for him to begin sharing his thoughts rather than start revealing his feelings.
3) If I say one thing, and then behave in a manner that is contradictory to what I have said - go with my actions. That will always tell you what is really in my heart, and will reveal more about my true character. I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but it is true. Words simply don't mean as much to men as they do to women.
The reason for this is that men tend to say what they believe in the moment. Since men don't feel emotions that often, they are very susceptible when they do have feelings.
If they are feeling romantic at the moment, they may make a promise that they sincerely believe – in that specific moment. However, they may not keep that promise once the romantic sentiment fades away. I am not claiming this conduct is right, and it certainly is not mature to act in this manner, but this is the sad truth regarding how many men behave.
It is when a man consistently exhibits this type of aforementioned pattern that a woman should attempt to ascertain his true intentions. It is nice for a man to say wonderful things to a woman- things she wants to hear. However, it would benefit her more if she were to focus on his actions rather than on his words. Watch to see if his actions coincide with his words. His conduct is the best way to determine his real feelings, and will provide a better measurement of his true character.
- Here's 2 more -
4) I don't like to argue because... Generally, men don't like to argue. The reason being is that a disagreement can lead to conflict. For men, conflict constitutes a battle that you must win. As a woman, you don't want to get into a battle with a man. He has a lot more testosterone than you do.
He is wired/designed for combat and when you argue with him, he's seeing you as a man. He doesn't want to nurture or protect you. Instead, he feels like you're acting in a competitive manner, and he assumes that you are challenging him.
5) I don't need you to do things for me. What I crave is being able to please you. There is one thing men crave above everything else - power. Men need, want, and will do anything to feel powerful. For this reason, a man's self-esteem is determined by 2 things:
1) What he accomplishes
2) What he overcomes
A man's self-worth is often closely related to what he accomplishes. This is the main reason why a man losing his job is frequently harder emotionally for him than it would be for a woman. His identity is measured by what he makes, produces, and achieves in his career.
In addition, when men overcome a problem, it makes them feel empowered. Every problem that a man fixes (or conquers) is a way for him to prove himself. It is a confirmation that he's strong, smart, and tough.
For this reason, the most important thing a woman can do when she sees her man struggling is not attempt to help him fix his problem. Her good intentions will often be misinterpreted. It may cause the man in her life to believe that she does not have enough faith in him to allow him to resolve the problem on his own.
If you think the man in your life is stressed about something, the best course of action might be to simply say, "I don't know how you'll solve this, but I know you will. I've seen you figure out things before, and I have complete trust in your ability to resolve this."
Now, I'd never suggest that a man say that to a woman. However, if a man hears the woman he loves use the above verbiage or a form thereof, his mind will begin racing with these thoughts:
"Wow, she really thinks I can do this." "Maybe I can." "Actually I know I can, because I can't disappoint her."
Try this simple exercise the next time the man in your life is dealing with a difficult issue that appears to be overwhelming him. You will not be disappointed by his reaction.
If he's not putting you first, then watch Carrie Engel show you 7 vital tips most women don't know that you can use right now to instantly reach your man's heart.